The voice of the Polish man in me

Posted on by Gosia
Posted in Inner Explorations

Polish land

I wasn’t able to protect my country, my land, my soil. I wasn’t able to protect Her from being hurt, destroyed, burned, bombarded, threatened. I wasn’t able to stop the blood being spilled on Her body. So I left… I abandoned Her because I couldn’t stand the pain of my own defeat, of my own powerlessness, of my own shame. I stopped seeing Her beauty. I turned my eyes away from Her and I turned my heart away from Her. I stopped cherishing and complementing Her.
I started spitting on Her and disregarding Her. And so she became gray…

Belonging

Posted on by Gosia
Posted in Sharings

Earth

It has been a long path for me to feel I belong. It still continues.
The circumstances of my birth into this world didn’t facilitate the development of the grounding cord with the Earth. I didn’t feel I belonged with the innocence and sensitivity of the child I was. Poland after the war and communism didn’t have much space for an open, feeling Heart. It was too painful, too dangerous to feel. I didn’t belong to the society I was born into. There wasn’t much recognition of the importance for caring about Nature, for honouring the Earth, for taking responsibility to mature as human beings. I didn’t belong to my body as it seemed that what I was doing through my body was wrong. I didn’t belong with my sexual and sensual Self. Centuries of shaming the body as sinful and invoking guilt for feeling joy have been strongly encoded in the DNA.

On a deeper level as a human being I didn’t feel worthy of belonging to the Earth. With all the damage and hurt we have been causing to ourselves and to all the beings sharing this space… With all the ignorance, arrogance, not remembering and disrespecting out Mother how could I feel I belonged here in Her?

Yet I feel so deeply loved by Mother Earth. So loved as I am, with all my dreams, desires, needs, ways of being, beauty, greatness, the Shadow, the things I don’t even like so much about myself. I belong. I am here, I breathe here, I move my body, I feel, I think. I belong as an expression of Life in this human form. Layers of shame, guilt, apologising for being me one by one steadily fall away.

I belong. And I learn through Love.

My Experience of Shamanism

Posted on by Gosia
Posted in Shamanism

Shamanism and its way of experiencing the reality has been an important part of my life. Especially in recent years when I dived deeper into it in order to bring more healing to my life.

Shamanism for me is a way of perceiving life. Deeply feeling in my heart and my in my body that everything is sacred as everything comes from Spirit and is an expression of Spirit. Spirit for me is the deep Stillness and what is created out of it. When I connect to other people, animals, plants, elements I experience Spirit in its unique forms having unique awareness.

And what is created out of Spirit is much, much more than only this physical plane we live in. We exist on many levels although a lot of people in the Western culture aren’t aware of it. There are also beings not having a physical form and living in other dimensions. It’s a very enriching experience being able to communicate and relate to other forms of existence. It makes me feel less isolated in the world, knowing there is a lot of support around me I can rely on and incredible healing force that I can tap into any time. We’re part of something bigger, we’re part of a community. Having such awareness is especially important in times when this support is not flowing from the people we’re surrounded with.

My Experience of Shamanism

Knowing that I live on sacred, conscious Earth and share this place with other conscious beings teaches me a lot about respect, balance and how to co-exist with each other in harmony. There is such wealth of wisdom around me. Everywhere I look and connect into is like reading a book about myself and about the Universe.

Shamanism for me is also about coming more into the body. When we are not born into a community of love, when there is abuse, neglect or trauma the spirit leaves the body or doesn’t even come fully here. So we are incarnated into the physical world but not fully present. And without really being here the life force doesn’t flow freely, there is not much power to manifest ourselves into this world and we don’t feel comfortable being ourselves.The work then is to meet the frozen past and bring back the unintegrated parts of our beings. With such healing, life becomes more about feeling empowered, strong, feeling at home in my own skin and opening to the unlimited source of life energy within me. And realising I’m my best resource of love, safety, care and acceptance and from this empowered position engaging with the world around me.

Being present here and feeling my own energy I have more awareness where and when my power goes away, how I direct it or give it away.

Of course shamanism and living life is so much more than this and each person will have their own story and their own experience. I hope that by doing our inner work, healing our wounds and opening more to the richness of life, our experience will become more alive, more fulfilling and more heart centred.