It has been a long path for me to feel I belong. It still continues.
The circumstances of my birth into this world didn’t facilitate the development of the grounding cord with the Earth. I didn’t feel I belonged with the innocence and sensitivity of the child I was. Poland after the war and communism didn’t have much space for an open, feeling Heart. It was too painful, too dangerous to feel. I didn’t belong to the society I was born into. There wasn’t much recognition of the importance for caring about Nature, for honouring the Earth, for taking responsibility to mature as human beings. I didn’t belong to my body as it seemed that what I was doing through my body was wrong. I didn’t belong with my sexual and sensual Self. Centuries of shaming the body as sinful and invoking guilt for feeling joy have been strongly encoded in the DNA.
On a deeper level as a human being I didn’t feel worthy of belonging to the Earth. With all the damage and hurt we have been causing to ourselves and to all the beings sharing this space… With all the ignorance, arrogance, not remembering and disrespecting out Mother how could I feel I belonged here in Her?
Yet I feel so deeply loved by Mother Earth. So loved as I am, with all my dreams, desires, needs, ways of being, beauty, greatness, the Shadow, the things I don’t even like so much about myself. I belong. I am here, I breathe here, I move my body, I feel, I think. I belong as an expression of Life in this human form. Layers of shame, guilt, apologising for being me one by one steadily fall away.
I belong. And I learn through Love.